Online Dating Safety
Romance Scams
Romance scams are the most emotionally devastating fraud online. Scammers spend weeks or months building trust through dating apps, Facebook and Instagram before asking for money — by which point victims rarely want to believe what's happening.
What is this scam?
A romance scam is a long con. The scammer creates an attractive profile, often using stolen photos of military personnel, doctors, or oil-rig engineers, and engages in daily messaging. The relationship feels real because, emotionally, much of it is. Money requests start small and reasonable — an emergency phone bill, a stuck shipment, a medical fee — and escalate from there. By the time loved ones intervene, victims have often sent tens of thousands of pounds.
Common warning signs
- Profile photos look professional or model-like
- Falls in love within days or weeks
- Always 'working abroad' — military, oil rig, surgeon, UN worker
- Refuses or repeatedly cancels video calls
- Eventually asks for money for an 'emergency'
- Asks you to keep the relationship secret
- Encourages you to invest in crypto with their 'help'
- Photos or stories don't quite match across messages
Realistic scam examples
First money request
My love, something terrible has happened. My daughter's school fees are due tomorrow and the bank has frozen my international account because of the contract dispute. I would never ask if there was any other way. Could you send £600 just for tonight? I'll repay you the moment my account is open. I love you so much.
Pig-butchering crypto pivot
My uncle has been teaching me a strategy on this exchange and I've made $40,000 in two months. I want us to build our future together. Let me show you how to make your first deposit — even $500 will grow quickly.
How to stay safe
- Reverse-image-search every profile photo. Almost every romance scammer uses stolen pictures.
- Insist on a live video call early on. A scammer will always have a reason not to.
- Never send money, gift cards or crypto to someone you have not met in person — no matter how real the relationship feels.
- Talk to a trusted friend or family member before sending anything. Scammers always insist on secrecy.
- Report scammers to the dating platform, to Action Fraud (UK) or the FTC (US), and to IC3 if crypto was involved.
Not sure if a message is a scam?
Paste it into our free AI scam checker for an instant analysis.
Frequently asked questions
How do romance scammers find victims?
Mostly via dating apps (Tinder, Hinge, Bumble) and social media DMs (Instagram, Facebook). They often target widowed, divorced, or recently bereaved people whose profiles indicate emotional vulnerability.
Why don't romance scammers video call?
Because they are not the person in the photos. They will claim broken cameras, poor connection, work restrictions or military protocols. A flat refusal to video call is one of the strongest warning signs.
Can I get my money back from a romance scam?
Recovery is difficult, especially if you sent crypto or used international transfers. Contact your bank's fraud team immediately, report to your national fraud body, and avoid 'recovery experts' — most are secondary scams.
What is pig butchering?
A romance scam that pivots into fake crypto investing. The scammer builds emotional trust, then guides you onto a fake exchange. It's now one of the largest categories of online fraud globally.